I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
this beer tastes like vomit already
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
