You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
