Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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