Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
it hurts more in the daytime
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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