I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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