She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
