So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
