yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
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