those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
so much tequila, so little girl.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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