I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
