I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
