Don't you send me to vm
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize
