Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
