Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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