take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
