we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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