I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
