i think i have two assholes
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
