Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(941): View more from Florida

She is totally STD

(941): View more from Florida

Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD

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(618): View more from Illinois

its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches

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(818): View more from California

Finally jerked of with a banana peel.

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(516): View more from New York

The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.

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(216): View more from Ohio

he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone

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(425): View more from Washington

I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.

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(318): View more from Louisiana

She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.

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(734): View more from Michigan

I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities

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(661): View more from California

Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern

(619): View more from California

Maybe she doesn’t know you did him

(661): View more from California

Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome

(619): View more from California

Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again

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