dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
i love accidental penises.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I had to cum in my sink.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
