So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
All the doctor said was why
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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