i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
