Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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