im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
He better not be in your backpack
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
