I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
