just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Randomize
