He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
