"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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