YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
