Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
he was CRYING into my vagina
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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