im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
