tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Randomize
