Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
