tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I need a beard to bite.
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