Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
