I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Farmville is her only friend.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
