NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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