ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
She is in my trunk
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
