I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Randomize
