Where did you get a picture of my penis
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
