remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Randomize
