I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
