If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Im part way to drunk.
my liver is dry heaving
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
