he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
