if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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