This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
