Four minutes until I can fart!
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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