Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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