My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
