we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Randomize
