I'm jealous of your bromance
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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